Why do four letter words get such a bad wrap? I have always struggled with why a 4 letter word is so much worse than any other word. I know it is due to the connotation attached to most of them, but when did that begin and who decided this? I get sh*t because it actually has a meaning. And back-in-the-day, f**k was an acronym that had a real meaning. But when did these meanings become derogatory when blurted out of context. If I drop a glass and break it, shake my head and mumble “f**k,” I am definitely not referring to any sort of carnal knowledge. Now d**n makes sense to me. It has a biblical sense, but how often does anyone actually really mean that? Again, I don’t want the broken glass to spend eternity with Satan. H, E, double hockey sticks is another good one. These expletives are just that – a statement of release. Why is it so much better to spout “poppycock?” What if I decide this is the most offensive term I have ever heard and begin a movement to get it forbidden and ostracized. Shouldn’t it be the intent behind the word? I am working on this with my kids. We have been working on the word stupid. I don’t like that word, and I have really tried to install in my children that we do not call people stupid. Apparently, though, I use this word quite often. The person in front of me in line is being stupid, someone who is spreading gossip is being stupid, the idea of having to go to work at 5:30 a.m. is stupid, etc. Well, my daughter counts these, especially when I am on the phone, and proceeds to tell me the exact number of times I have used the word. 9 out of 10 times, though, the usage is more descriptive than derogatory. Be careful what you teach your children!
This rant was not my point, though. I started thinking about 4 letter words because for me the worst words in the English language actually have 5 letters – GUILT and SHAME. I have many times in my life heard that all Catholics suffer from excessive and consuming guilt. I do find that pretty true, but I am not totally sure where it comes from. I understand the history of it, but the modern day appearance of the phenomenon perplexes me. I went to Catholic schools, and I do not remember having the idea of guilt pounded into my skull. I know my parents often spoke of sin and accountability, but there was also always the role of reconciliation. As an adult, I have taken classes and then taught classes based on Catholic philosophy and theology, and I can clearly see a forgiving and loving God even if he is demanding with his expectations and plans for us. I guess the Catholic Church does lend itself to a greater checklist mentality because it is so complex with its traditions and organizational hierarchy, but what makes one feel the guilt and shame when these checklist items are neglected or ignored? I really feel it is more due to a personality trait in me, but how does that explain the stereotype that is too often accurate?
Right now I am struggling with some guilt. This is nothing new, but I am trying to think of it in a different way because I know it is not only unhealthy, it is getting in the way of my relationship with God. I haven’t been attending Church because of the shame of some decisions I have made lately – some as simple as losing my temper with my kids and some as serious as telling falsehoods to cover up my failings. This shame leads to guilt – or does the guilt lead to shame? I’ll leave that to another day. The point is I know there is something wrong inside. I have been praying about it and the answer I got was to get back into God’s word. Well, imagine that…the answer was there – RELATIONSHIP. So, the thing I am missing and feeling additionally guilt about (Church) is the same thing as the answer to my problem. Church is an integral part of that relationship building process. I know this. I agree with this. So, how does one get out of the cycle? That is why I am officially declaring GUILT and SHAME to be words I am going to forbid in my house. Wish me luck!
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